Dear Santa (2024)
It’s been a while, I know.
Been honestly struggling with my creativity and if I can even write at all. This happens every 100 years or so, don’t worry about it. Such is life!
But I have decided to proceed without perfection and just get shit out! What better movie to start this with than the movie relegated to Paramount+, Dear Satan. I mean. Dear Santa, directed by the same man who brought us Shallow Hal (another Jack Black film), Dumb and Dumber To, and Fever Pitch; to name a few.
Dear Santa follows an 11 year old Liam who is the new kid in town after a traumatic incident occurred in his previous city. His parents are constantly fighting, he only has one friend, and he still believes in Santa. Being dyslexic, our kind and foolish Liam writes his letter to Satan of the North Lope instead. This is when Jack Black appears, offers him three wishes, and pretends to be Santa.
It’s a fun movie, I can’t lie! I laughed a few times, the kid is cute, Jack Black is always funny. They scored Post Malone to play himself so Black and our MC can dance onstage with his crush. It’s cute and entertaining. But then the ending… If you don’t want spoilers do not proceed but I need to talk about this ending. Spoilers in 3… 2…
That was so stupid the ending just undid everything the movie presented like it even went against its one rule where the devil can’t change things that have happened in the past like what? Let me tell you. Liam’s brother died and they moved because of it. Liam and his parents are not handling it well. So when Liam gets his three wishes from the devil, his final wish is for his parents to stay together. There’s a kind of strange scene after this where Black is back in Hell and Satan himself (Oh yeah, Black is just a low level demon) played by Ben Stiller, tells Black that the kid’s last wish is null and void since technically it already happened before he made the wish (his parents finally communicated and listened to each other). Therefore, Black is banished from Hell (Where the fuck is he supposed to go now?) and tells Liam he just made whatever he wrote in his letter to Santa/Satan happen. Guess what. The wish is that his brother comes back. How? HOW? Liam goes to the tree and his brother is there? His parents are none the wiser and are wondering why they moved in the first place? His dad gets a pony which like I must have missed something in the beginning like why did his dad get a pony? It was shot like so quickly and I was caught up in this whirlwind I was hoping it was all a dream and it wasn’t. They genuinely bring his brother back to life. I just don’t get it I don’t get the direction. I was watching with one of my familiars and at one point he giggled “is this a fever dream?” and I couldn’t agree more.
Could it possibly be to do like a campy everything works out bow-on-top cherry-on-the-sundae happy ever after movie? What was the point of bringing back the brother, that was for sure a defining moment in that kid’s life and they just… undo it? What was the point of the whole movie?
Let’s say the purpose was just to give this boy a lil backbone, show that he can stand up for himself. Ok and? That feels so laaaame in the end right? Was this because they wanted to market this to children and they didn’t want them to be upset? I feel like it’s worse this way, a lot of children’s media is absolutely gut-wrenching and it has a real impact because of that. For instance, All Dogs go to Heaven or hell almost Disney movie the parents die and they do not come back.
Maybe that was the issue- there is no audience for this movie. The demographic is missing here and I wonder how this film got the green light. Wish I was there in the pitch because it started as a really cool concept and ended so oddly I just am left in uncomfortable confusion.
The family in the end has a cupid for the tree topper (again, why?) and it’s Jack Black and he winks. I hate it. It must be like a hint for a sequel but I don’t know if I want that. I will watch it if it does happen, albeit begrudgingly.
Do I recommend this movie? Maybe? I wouldn’t spend a dime on it but if you already have access, I say why not, it’s fun up to a point. I guess.
That’s it for my rambling I’m just gonna publish. I think I want to reformat the shop, I don’t know if I like the yellow text on blue. Maybe. No promises, I’m a very busy vampire. Nosferatu is out I gotta check that. Toodles!